The Order of the Two Headed Tortoise

Posted: April 12, 2011 in Uncategorized

Heh.  Been a while, hasn’t it?  Errr….   Oh well.  HI!

On to a topic I’ve been meaning to hit for a while: procrastination.

I’ll do it later.  I’ll get around to it.  It’ll happen eventually.  Sound familiar?  Welcome to the Order of the Two Headed Tortoise, AKA Procrastinators Anonymous.  We’ll meet tomorrow.  People procrastinate all. the. time.  They run into repercussions all. the. time.  So why do you procrastinate?
Most folks procrastinate for one (or more) of 3 reasons:
1) the task to do is boring
Let’s face it: boredom blows.  And not in a good, smack someone in the face way either.  It blows like a bad crack whore.  If what needs to be done isn’t real high on your “fun shit” list, you’re gonna put it off until the last minute or until your only other option is something even more boring.  The solution is NOT make it more fun.  So far as I know, waiting at the DMV to take a new photo will never be fun.  A book and headphones make it bearable, but that’s about it.  The solution is one of 2 things: Put on your Tough Bitch Bra and go to battle (as in, a battle againstthe boring task; you win when the task is finished), or promise yourself a HEALTHY reward once the task is over(not ice cream on a diet, not a shopping spree if you’re broke, something that you won’t feel guilty over later.)  I tend to prefer option A, but there are others who swear by Option B.  Whatever works.
2)It’s a distasteful task
It’s something you don’t like doing anyways (taxes, anyone?), so why on earth would you waste your valuable time that you could be spending dusting the hangers in the guest closet?  Unfortunately, the correct answer is that taxes come before dusty hangers.  It needs to get done and there are ramifications if you don’t do it.  Taxes?  Legal trouble.  Timesheet?  Wanna get paid? On and on and on.  The solution here is to do it before the more enjoyable tasks, that way A) there isn’t the dark storm cloud of anticipation hanging over the fun stuff, and B ) it’s done and you can go about your life without reminding yourself every 5 minutes “I really should do [whatever]…”
3)  There’s better stuff to do
That may be so, but it needs to get done.  WoW may be fun, but it don’t put food on the table (if it does, I’ve got some contacts for you.)  Eating out every night may be nice, but your bank account suffers.  Cleaning isn’t exactly fun, but a trashed house is worse.  Figure out what your required ratio of fun: work is for you to get shit done.  1 hr work= 3 hours fun?  BZZT  Wrong Answer Hans.  You’ve got shit to do.  Unfortunately, the same solution applies here and did in #2: Get off your ass and do it.

I wish I could tell you that this post’ll solve all your procrastination problems.  It won’t.  You’ll hafta work at it for everything that needs to happen.  The best procrastination you could EVER do?

PROCRASTINATE PROCRASTINATION!!!

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