Breaking the Box

Posted: March 18, 2011 in Uncategorized

Self Esteem can pretty much be translated as “if you’ve got it, flaunt it.”  It’s self confidence, self assuredness, and self love all rolled into one ginormous mass of mental masturbation.  It’s knowing that you look better in that dress/ suit than a skinnier person because YOU are the one wearing it.  It’s that swagger that says “yeah, I got it.”  It’s knowing thyself and being perfectly ok with, even loving to some extent, your flaws.
Unfortunately, there are those who’ve had the self esteem beaten out of them (in some cases literally) by a world with a pigeonhole to put them in.  These are the people who stare out the window and sigh because they can’t stand to go outside, for fear of the laughter.  These are the people who starve themselves to lose just 2 more pounds.  Thse are the people, who, no matter how perfect their life looks on the outside, are absolutely miserable because they gave up their soul to keep the masses happy.  There are too many people out there who allow themselves to be sliced and diced and shoved into a box of someone else’s expectations.
Once you’ve lost yourself, once you’ve lost your self esteem, it’s a hard fight to get it back.  Losing weight won’t fix it, designer clothes won’t fix it, an armcandy SO won’t fix it.  YOU have to delve deep within yourself and find it.  Sorry, this is one thing you can’t rely on the kindness of others for.  YOU have to find it.
How do you get there?  Find that spark of yourself that never died, the one that never got shoved away completely.  If you’re reading this blog, you obviously have something there, otherwise it wouldn’t have piqued your interest.  It could be a deep empathy for others, it could be a strong curiosity about everything, it could be an interest in a form of cooking others don’t care for.  It could be anything, find it.  It’s that one part of your personality that never quite fit in the box, no matter how hard you tried. Sarcasm counts, too.  Find it?  Start following strings.  Every love, attachment, charm, quirk has at least one string linking to something else in your personality.  Sarcasm can lead to your sense of humor, an empathy for others can lead to a love of helping….  Keep following strings.  If a string breaks or comes up a dead end, find another one.

You will start breaking out of that box as you find parts of yourself.  There will be naysayers.  Ignore them.  With each discovery, start using it and having fun with it until it’s something you’re proud to call part of you.  Congratulations, you’re building self esteem.  You may not leave the box all the way, that’s fine, too, so long as you have the self love to know where YOU end and the box begins.
It will require a Tough Bitch and ALL her resources and aforementioned articles (armor, spike heels of asskicking, tough bitch bra, all that) to break out of that box, to find all of her self esteem, and to give the whole world a “Kiss my ass if you don’t like me” middle finger.  It’ll be hard.  It’ll be worth it.

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